Sometimes, I hate myself so much.
Ever felt so worthless you feel like you are never going to amount to anything? Not knowing what your goal, or dream, or aspiration is. Yeah, you do have one- that ideal one you keep telling everyone because it seems like the right thing to do. You have a dream, an aspiration that you don’t even know if it truly is your dream; because you keep convincing yourself how ridiculous it is and how impossible it is for you to reach it because you are nobody, nothing. You know you will be ridiculed for thinking such an impossible dream and people will tell you to get over yourself, and so you tell yourself to get over yourself- but still you hope, and berate yourself for not being good enough, never good enough. You do what you have to do now and you enjoy it, yet you still cannot shake off that feeling of ineptness because everyone, everyone is better than you, in everything. You know you should be thankful for what you have because you are really very lucky, and you are thankful, but still, you hope you be that bit better, smarter, prettier, kinder, understanding. A bit, just a little more.
There are two people you’ll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book.